The Gareth Report

[dr_pretentious]

I always hesitate to post about my son and my life as a mother. This, after all, is a blog about writing and teaching, and the part of me that read lots of John Gardner's books on the crafting of fiction says, You can't just change the authorial contract with your reader like that! Keep your motherhood out of it! What could I possibly have to say about being a parent that countless other parents have not already said? My love for Gareth is bigger than the earth, bigger than the all the visible stars, bigger than the thirteen-dimensional superstring that allegedly makes up the multiverse, bigger than whatever is bigger than the superstring that the string theorists haven't guessed at yet. And so is the love of just about every parent for just about every child. It's the most important part of my life. It's also completely unoriginal.

But if there's one thing I learned from the best of my poetry mentors, it's that separating the life from the art costs more than it gives, and mars the work. Alicia only really took off as a poet when she started writing about the other love that dare not speak its name--when she was willing to risk the charge of sentimentality and write about her life as a mother. It's time I reread The Mother/Child Papers. It's time everybody read The Mother/Child Papers.

Gareth's a speaking subject now, with four spoken words and an American Sign Language vocabulary that's suddenly growing so fast, we're not even sure how big it is. Just in the past two days, he's started combining words and signs into proto-sentences: "Daddy" and the sign for more when Dan was about to leave for the office, "Daddy, hi!" and the sign for phone just before the time of day when I usually call Dan on speaker phone so Gareth can hear his voice. Really, Gareth seems to be more interested in his father than in anything else on earth. Which makes perfect sense to me. I've been there.

Comments

[kistha.livejournal.com]

Well, I think it's just nifty.

So there!

[purpledice.livejournal.com]

Mom and me on that last line: Awwwwwwwwww.

[red-haired-girl.livejournal.com]

It's the most important part of my life. It's also completely unoriginal

Generally, Love is that way. Its how you express it, and what you do with it, that can be original.

[deannahoak.livejournal.com]

I'm glad Gareth is communicating so well. Our blog are our selves, and mine never feels quite right to me if I leave my children out. People who don't want to read can always skip over, but others may want to know.

[kjlj.livejournal.com]

I vote for more Gareth posts! Also, I love your self, as a mother and an artist.

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

Gareth is clearly a little star.

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

Every child is unique, and no two mothers will have the same experiences. That's what makes motherhood an adventure that only you (with your child) will experience.

So post away! We'd like to hear how you and Gareth are doing together on your lifetime adventure!

[skyefyr.livejournal.com]

Honey, it's your blog. Post about whatever you want. If it makes you feel better, create a special filter for all your friends who WANT to hear about Gareth and his progress. Personally, I'd like to hear a whole lot more, especially now when we're seeing each other so seldom!

[jasminewind.livejournal.com]

Not that I am suggesting that you change genres or anything, but if you think that motherhood is unoriginal to the detriment of a writer's career, you should check out "momoirs", memoirs of motherhood - many writers who are mothers are selling their stories. Mothers voices are marginalized in our culture, so using your considerable skills to give voice to that experience couldn't be a bad thing. You did such a wonderful job with the grail story and one could argue that was a non-teaching/writing life experience.

[stasiaone.livejournal.com]

Mommy love just keeps growing, doesn't it. Like stars moving away from you in an expanding universe; there is no end.

welcome to the mommy tribe. ;)

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

I need to come visit you guys. None of the Connecticut rellies have met Gareth yet, and it's past time I did something about that.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Actually, you're one of the bloggers I think of when I psych myself up to get past that writing anxiety. I don't have time to keep up with my friends list as well as I used to, but I do enjoy reading your posts about your family.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Thanks! And I've been missing you, too. I'm so glad Iron Springs was a success, and that it didn't stress you out too badly. Next year, I mean to be there.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

He's definitely a little star, though in the first month of his life he was more like a gas giant.

[kjlj.livejournal.com]

If you really think you may make it, you should call right away to reserve at cabin - the number is 360-276-4230. The event is June 25-28, 2009. Jay Lake is coming back, as well as some other instructors. And we want to see Gareth, too!