I apologize if this isn't the sort of response you expected from this headline..., but you feel like the right person to bounce this off of, having dealt with grad school and a bunch of other stuff over the years.
I don't understand why it is so difficult, lately, to care about myself. I can help others, if they need it, which many of my friends seem to, lately, but on the one hand, the idea of getting back into grad school is... not as appealing as it ought to be, and the idea of doing anything else is distinctly unappealing. I want a vacation from... everything. I don't want out permanently, but I don't feel up to dealing with much of anything serious, lately. I don't know why. Fest was great, Ynyr is wonderful, but as wonderful as she is, I don't know if she can handle a relationship with a Christian. But Fest didn't put a bounce back in my step, and since Fest, I just don't seem to care. If this is depression, it doesn't feel like my usual Black funks, although there may be external reasons for that... I'm tired, and confused about the whole concept of direction, and not sure why. Is this just because I'm getting old? That's a disturbing thought...
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timeasmymeasure
why is everything so difficult?
Date: 2006-10-28 10:53 pm (UTC)I don't understand why it is so difficult, lately, to care about myself. I can help others, if they need it, which many of my friends seem to, lately, but on the one hand, the idea of getting back into grad school is... not as appealing as it ought to be, and the idea of doing anything else is distinctly unappealing. I want a vacation from... everything. I don't want out permanently, but I don't feel up to dealing with much of anything serious, lately. I don't know why. Fest was great, Ynyr is wonderful, but as wonderful as she is, I don't know if she can handle a relationship with a Christian. But Fest didn't put a bounce back in my step, and since Fest, I just don't seem to care. If this is depression, it doesn't feel like my usual Black funks, although there may be external reasons for that... I'm tired, and confused about the whole concept of direction, and not sure why. Is this just because I'm getting old? That's a disturbing thought...
Any less disturbing thoughts?