In Which Dr. Moo Cow Plays Catch-Up

[dr_pretentious]

The thing nobody thinks to tell you about breastfeeding before the fact is that it's incredibly boring. The baby gets such an endorphin rush from feeding, he drowses off mid-meal, and then keeps right on eating in his sleep. It's sort of like having an opiate addict nod off on your shoulder for half an hour at a time, a dozen times a day. For all that you might love, enjoy, and admire the opiate addict in question when he's awake--imagine that it's, say, Samuel Taylor Coleridge--you'd still spend those half-hour periods wishing for something more engaging to do. You can't talk on the phone, because the occasional flailing of infant limbs requires both hands and knocks cords for earpieces all over the place. Likewise, you can't type, or knit. No wonder people who like television watch so much of it when they have babies.

I gather that soon, when Gareth's neck muscles mature and I don't have to support his head all the time, it'll be possible to arrange him in a sling and type while he eats, but meanwhile, I can only spare half a hand to hold open the lightest of paperbacks. I tried heavier books, but I soon caught on that that would be the short road to carpal tunnel syndrome. ("How do you avoid carpal tunnel syndrome from holding the baby while nursing?" I asked the local La Leche League leader. "Beats me," she said, "I got it with each of my three kids." Great. Just great. Time to dig up my old wrist braces.)

So I've been reading a lot of very short books, and a lot of cheap teaching editions of classics that are printed on lightweight paper. It's been fun to backtrack and read things I'd been meaning to get around to for years, or in some cases decades. Why didn't anyone tell me The Bridge of San Luis Rey was funny? When people talk about it, they describe it as a sort of thought experiment--can the monk determine whether it's random chance or the will of the Creator that brings those six people to the bridge the day it collapses?--which would be incredibly boring. Heck, when I want to read about theology, I can go to theologians for it. But that's not the point at all. God didn't write the book, Thornton Wilder did, so of course it's the will of the story's creator that those six characters died. The question the book pretends to be about is the one question that's already closed before it begins. My poor tutoring students get assigned The Bridge of San Luis Rey by their high school teachers, and they write earnest little papers in which they try to take the monk's question seriously, when on every page it's clear that Wilder being playful, showing off, jazzing around. It's metafiction that doesn't suck as fiction. I wish I'd read it sooner.

Ibsen, however, sucks. I remember thinking Hedda Gabler and A Doll's House were okay when I read them in grad school, but An Enemy of the People, The Wild Duck, and Rosmersholm, which are supposed to be impressive and deep, turn out to be plain awful. I think I can go the rest of my days without ever reading another Scandinavian playwright now, if Ibsen really is the best of the bunch. Good to have that out of the way. Victorian theater must have been really bad, for all those modernist writers to prefer Ibsen over it.

I'll take Naomi Novik over Ibsen any day of the week. I've just finished His Majesty's Dragon--probably I'm the only person in all of livejournaldom who hadn't already read it--and now it's my turn to swoon over the book, just like most of you were swooning when it came out a couple of years ago.

I might as well do that 52 book challenge thing this year, even if I am hoping to set up a bookstand to spare my wrists so I can read both new translations of War and Peace once I finish Novik's Temeraire series. The baby plans to spend lots of drowsy hours eating.

Comments

[red-haired-girl.livejournal.com]

Hey - did you ever get my poem? I emailed it to both your addy's and ne bounced, but I didn't know if they both did.

[xlana.livejournal.com]

have you thought about audio books? with earphones, you can listen while the munchkin munches and still get the literary dose. yeah, it takes longer (i assume you read quickly, too) but your wrist won't hurt.

(i spent a lot of time in my head while nursing. rearranging the house, playing the 'what if' game, etc.)

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of this and both BBC Radio 4 and BBC7. The Listen Again feature of their archives means you can overdose and listen to episodes of their readings, dramas, and discussion programmes back to back (I just finished a whole Jamaica Inn fest yesterday). BBC Radio 3 is mainly music, but it also has a spoken word and drama section.

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

Oh, to be back nursing an infant again!

I used those times to be quiet. I would listen to music, or sing to the baby, or just enjoy the feel of having the baby snuggled up against me. My day was so full of DOING stuff that it was just wonderful to sit down and just BE. I could close my eyes and almost drift off with the little sleepyhead sometimes.

You will work it out. Just relaxing and letting your brain take a mini-vacation may be the best thing you can do for your sanity. :)

Hugs.

[stasiaone.livejournal.com]

i recommend setting up a laptop near your nursing command center. One handed typing is fine though i do wonder if I should be monitoring (read: correcting the latch) on a continual basis instead. i have a grazer/clamper on my hands. And you?

[annathepiper]

*beam* I'm so glad you like the Novik books.

My friend kathrynt had this sort of shelf thing that she was able to sit in her laptop and rest the baby upon while she breastfed, not long after her daughter Lillian was born. That seemed to address the problem pretty well; would you like me to ask her if she can tell you more about that?

[citabria]

Your reaction to The Bridge of San Luis Rey sounds a lot like my reaction to Ulysses. If you're reading it for fun, while doing fun things (like lying on a beach -- that's perfect for the beginning of the book, in fact), and not obsessing about how it compares to The Odyssey, it's actually laugh-out-loud funny in parts. I'm actually thinking of reading it again right now, just because it was so darned enjoyable. (Now if I can only find it in my piled cartons of books....)

I've never read Novik either -- what's the book like?

I also give you many kudos for trying to tackle Ibsen. I think I'm practically allergic.

I'm trying to remember what my friend Patty used to do while nursing, while the kids were really, really small. I think her favorite was nursing while in the recliner and napping herself.

[jasminewind.livejournal.com]

So nice to hear from you!!!

Yeah, I was bored with nursing too. When his neck gets stronger it'll be easier to multitask and it gets better!

I liked nursing on the couch and using a lot of pillows to prop books and hold them open. But I also watched a lot of TV.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

I did get it, and it was delightful. I've been a very poor correspondent these past three months. I think this is the first time I've managed to reply to lj replies since the birth, and so many people have sent so many kind wishes.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Ooh, that sounds yummy!

When we changed around the functions of the rooms upstairs (Dan's study moved to the attic, my study moved to his study, the baby got my former space), we basically moved half our worldly possessions, if you count by weight. The baby's room is in good order now, but my stuff is still half in boxes, and poor Dan...all the hand-me-down baby gear that Gareth's not big enough for yet is up there, crowding Dan's working space into a corner. Bit by bit, we're settling back into the house. The BBC stuff sounds like just the thing to play while I'm chipping away at the remaining boxes.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Napping while the baby sleeps on me is one of the most delicious experiences I've ever had. I'm almost afraid to read all those how-to-help-your-baby-build-a-sleep-cycle books, because I'm sure they'll all tell me that napping with the baby will be as addictive for him as it is for me, and if I ever want him to sleep without me... Well, that's a worry for another day.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

We finally got our latch issues worked out enough to get on with, but man, that was hard work.

On the way down to Maryland for Christmas, we stopped at a rest area on 95, and the women at the next table happened to be La Leche League meeting leaders. They took one look at Gareth, who was sucking his half-stuck-out tongue in his sleep, and offered me their sympathies about all the nursing problems he was probably giving me. Yep, they named every one.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

I'm a third of the way into the second volume now. It must have been agony to start the series when it first came out, and to have to wait between volumes. She didn't keep you waiting long, but still.

I have a sort of lap-desk-on-wheels set up over my big reading chair, and it's an improvement. I think once we're past the floppy-neck stage, the lap desk will probably solve the problem. Thanks for the offer, though.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

In terms of premise, the Novik is sort of like Patrick O'Brian's series (Master and Commander, etc.), without the long digressions into technical details about sailing, and with the addition of dragons. Or sort of like what Anne McCaffrey might have done if her Pern novels had all been set during the Napoleonic Wars. It sounds kind of goofy, but it plays really well.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

I'm so glad to hear veteran moms say that multitasking gets easier. Gareth is so much fun to play with, and he's positively delicious to snuggle, but I need to be able to tutor the occasional student, do the occasional chore, and get back into some kind of daily writing rhythm. At this point, any daily writing rhythm would do.

[annathepiper]

You're very welcome!

And oh man, you wanna talk agony, get back to me when you hit the end of Book Four. ;)

[sligoe.livejournal.com]

You know, I had four kids, each with their very own sleep idiosyncracies. When it was bedtime--really bedtime, at night, when most people are getting ready to sleep, the babies went to their bed in their own space. I was farily lucky early on in that I had a separate room for the kids, so it was fairly easy to put them downin their own room, close the door, and goto my room. Of course, they got up in the middle of the night for feedings, or they were wet, or got antsy for Mommy---but when I was finished with whatever I needed to do (and the obligatory middle of the night cuddle!) they went right back to their own beds.

If you don't want to worry about the baby sleeping with you, then establish that boundary early, stick to it, and you won't have a problem. When the kids were a bit older, I allowed them to hop into bed with me where we giggled and tickled and generally had a good time---but bedtime was a time for their beds in their room.

I did take naps with the babies, though---but not in a bed. Always in the rocking chair, or on the couch. I always held that bedrooms were for sleeping---nothing else got done in the kids rooms. Homework was done at the dining room table, no TV or video games were allowed in the bedrooms, and no phones. THis was their space for sleeping and getting ready to face the world. I know it seems a bit harsh, but definite boundaries had to be made, and I thought that keepingone place just for sleeping was more conducive to rest than to fill that space with distractions.

Don't worry about stuff and just enjoy your baby. If it makes you feel good to havee a nap with him, then it feels good to him, too---and that's not such a bad thing. :)

Sitting with Baby

[ingridsummers.livejournal.com]

I honestly don't remember what I did when PG was nursing. I remember really loving it. I think it's because I'm such a "must be doing something every moment" type of person - and I was even worse when she was born. It gave me a reason to do "nothing" without feeling like there was something else I "SHOULD" be doing.

I loved it. Which I was totally NOT expecting.

[skyefyr.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest a cordless headset so you can talk on the phone.

My aunt got a wonderful xmas present from her boys. It's this electronic device that holds up to 150 books. It's lightweight and convenient and you could work it with one free finger. I'm not sure of the investment, but she absolutely loves it. (I keep teasing her about letting me borrow her books when she's done because I could get away with sneaking reading when work gets slow!)

*side note*

[reynaud.livejournal.com]

I love that icon.

[reynaud.livejournal.com]

Having absolutely no experience with this subject (not even, I think, from a nursee perspective), I would have to think that the answers are BlueTooth and/or books-on-tape. Or even taking the time to learn a new lanuage. Hey, maybe Gareth will pick something up listening as well!

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Amazon's new ebook reader looks really good. I'm waiting for the cost to come down, though. And I'm not sure how well it would stand up to close proximity to a baby. Gareth's just entered the grabbing-at-everything stage. It's pretty entertaining, and impressive in contrast to the don't-know-my-hands-are-part-of-my-body stage, but I know there'll be some property damage sooner or later.

A Bluetooth headset is probably the way to go for the phone problem.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

I thought about audiobooks, but I often fall asleep for a minute or two at a time while nursing, and only discover I've nodded off when I wake up. With a print book, it's easy to figure out where I left off, but backtracking to find the right spot in an audiobook is kind of a pain.

Hadn't thought of language instruction. It would have the same problem as audiobooks, but at least I wouldn't be spoiling the plot for myself.

Now my brain is proposing that languages might have plots--that the final scene of, say, Spanish is highly derivative, but Basque has a surprise ending. Poor tired brain.

[ssha.livejournal.com]

I thought one of the points of a sling was that it supported the baby's head while s/he was breastfeeding?

Also, do you have a nursing pillow?

[violet-moon25.livejournal.com]

There are lots of fun YA novels that weren't written when we were teenagers and should be light enough not to strain the wrist. You might even find some good material for your students. Also, I have a cookbook holder and you might be able to get one for heavier books. What about books on tape? Good luck.

the baby will get bigger, no fear

[(Anonymous)]

with bigger stomach for holding more food at one time. You will get more practiced at nursing, and his neck, as you said, will get better at holding up his head. Also when he fades off into sleep can be a good time to burp him, and switch sides.

One-handed typing, and reading of light fiction is the perfect thing to do at this point. Also, all parents will agree that the purchase of a cordless phone is inevitable and invaluable.

Eventually you will be nursing whilst cooking dinner, talking on the phone, and having sex (not hopefully simultaneously)

Anne (yer former roomie)

e-books

[(Anonymous)]

a plain old palm pilot doesn't cost much, and can be loaded up with scads of fiction. Mine is. Also, when zipped into a ziplock baggie, perfect for bathtub use.