Happy International Bad Poetry Day!
Jan. 22nd, 2008 10:53 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dr_pretentiousIt's still, if just barely, International Bad Poetry Day, also known as my birthday. The sixth annual Bad Poetry Party will be somewhat delayed--probably mid-February. My plan to overtake International Talk Like a Pirate Day has suffered a setback, what with the distractions of new parenthood, but I remain steadfast in my ambition.
It's been an odd birthday. Dan meant to come home early so I could get to a session with the first of the tutoring students I've reintroduced into my schedule, but debugging got the better of him. He arrived barely in time for me to hand off the baby and rush out the door. "He's been fed," I said, "but the cat threw up on the wedding quilt, and the toilet's clogged. Have fun!"
"My karmic comeuppance," Dan acknowledged. "Sorry about being late." And he kissed me goodbye.
Now here's where I praise my fabulous husband: I came home to find the plumbing repaired, the wedding quilt rescued, the baby content, dinner cooked, and a chocolate spoon cake on the stove. The only thing we're missing is bad poetry.
Well, now it's time for me to rectify that with my annual recitation of the bad poem that started it all:
Ode on the Mammoth Cheese, Weighing over 7,000 Pounds
By James McIntyre (1827-1906)
We have seen thee, Queen of Cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.
All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.
Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.
May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's Show at Paris.
Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing, O Queen of Cheese.
We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade even at noon,
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.
It's been an odd birthday. Dan meant to come home early so I could get to a session with the first of the tutoring students I've reintroduced into my schedule, but debugging got the better of him. He arrived barely in time for me to hand off the baby and rush out the door. "He's been fed," I said, "but the cat threw up on the wedding quilt, and the toilet's clogged. Have fun!"
"My karmic comeuppance," Dan acknowledged. "Sorry about being late." And he kissed me goodbye.
Now here's where I praise my fabulous husband: I came home to find the plumbing repaired, the wedding quilt rescued, the baby content, dinner cooked, and a chocolate spoon cake on the stove. The only thing we're missing is bad poetry.
Well, now it's time for me to rectify that with my annual recitation of the bad poem that started it all:
Ode on the Mammoth Cheese, Weighing over 7,000 Pounds
By James McIntyre (1827-1906)
We have seen thee, Queen of Cheese,
Lying quietly at your ease,
Gently fanned by evening breeze,
Thy fair form no flies dare seize.
All gaily dressed soon you'll go
To the great Provincial Show,
To be admired by many a beau
In the city of Toronto.
Cows numerous as a swarm of bees --
Or as the leaves upon the trees --
It did require to make thee please,
And stand unrivalled Queen of Cheese.
May you not receive a scar as
We have heard that Mr. Harris
Intends to send you off as far as
The great World's Show at Paris.
Of the youth -- beware of these --
For some of them might rudely squeeze
And bite your cheek; then songs or glees
We could not sing, O Queen of Cheese.
We'rt thou suspended from balloon,
You'd cast a shade even at noon,
Folks would think it was the moon
About to fall and crush them soon.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 04:24 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 04:26 am (UTC)Happy Birthday Dr.P! It sounds like you are adapting to the life being dictated by the boy. That is, after all, what it means to be a parent. Congratulations, and good luck!
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Date: 2008-01-23 05:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 06:04 am (UTC)It's my birthday too
Happy birthday
Happy birthday to you!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 06:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 11:45 am (UTC)And I look forward to the contest!
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Date: 2008-01-23 12:34 pm (UTC)Hippo birdies, two ewes.
Hippo birdies, dear Dr. P--
Hippo birdies, two ewes!
And many more.....
Hugs!
Hippo Birdie Two Ewe
Date: 2008-01-23 02:30 pm (UTC)BTW - I loved last years party. It was both an education and a total HOOT!!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 02:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-01-23 03:05 pm (UTC)Voilets are blue,
If I had two cupkaes,
I'd give one to you.
Happy birthday!
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Date: 2008-01-23 04:24 pm (UTC)And Happy Birthday!!!! :)
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Date: 2008-01-23 06:32 pm (UTC)Thinking of you often!
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Date: 2008-01-23 11:17 pm (UTC)As always, the arrival of your birthday fills me with the deepest sorrow that I cannot attend the party, as it is Woolly Mammoth Season here on the ice cap and I am flaking tools like a madman in order to be ready for the big hunt. Rest assured that you, Prince Alexi, and the newest Royal are in my thoughts--as is her majesty, Queen of Cheese. I hope your day was simply remarkable.
Your faithful servant,
Caveman Thog
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Date: 2008-01-24 12:23 am (UTC)Wow, you guys are really rocking on this whole parenting thing. I'm mightily impressed with your getting back to work-ness and your hubby's no-breasted care of the newborn while repairing a household-ness.
:-)
I wish I new poetry enuf to write you a bad one!
no subject
Date: 2008-01-24 05:10 am (UTC)MONKEY VILLANELLE:
http://www.theamericanscholar.org/au07/poetry-goetsch.html
(Not because it's bad, but because James McIntyre would have approved.)
And my own sestina on IPV6:
http://eblong.com/zarf/thod/27.html
Make free with them when the day comes.
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no subject
Date: 2008-01-26 03:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2008-03-11 05:35 am (UTC)Happy Very Belated B-day!!!
-Katrina