More News From Zach's Cancer Fight

[dr_pretentious]

We won't know for two more weeks whether the chemo is doing what it's intended to do, but meanwhile it's certainly having its predictable side effects. This weekend has been all about high fevers and low white blood cell counts.

I need a cheer or chant for white blood cells that is as annoyingly irresistible as my mother's we-love-you-liver song was. Somehow leukocyte is not a word that lends itself well to the Gimme an L! treatment. Likewise neutrophil. I suppose there's always Be! Aggressive! B E Aggressive!, but perhaps Be fruitful and multiply would be better advice for them. Getting their numbers up is the goal of the moment.

Anybody with a background in cheerleading have a suggestion? My default short form is the sonnet, which is sometimes clever, but rarely catchy. The situation calls for an earworm.

Comments

[newroticgirl.livejournal.com]

Get up! (Or: Go! Go!)
Fight! Fight!
Every single leukocyte!

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

Nice!

[catpaw67.livejournal.com]

To the tune of Row, Row, Row your boat....

Grow, grow, white blood cells
Love those leukocytes!
Beat the cancer, beat the odds,
Win this doggone fight!

[happy-dr-friend.livejournal.com]

Two alternate names for neutrophils are PMNs and polys (both short for polymorphonuclear cells). Would either of those work better for a sonnet or cheer?

[jeneralist.livejournal.com]

I'm a fan of double dactyls, m'self...


Leukocyte? New-co-cyte!
Zachary, drumplayer,
builds lots new white blood cells
with help from chants

White count goes up -- so he's
fan-fucking-tasticly
happy and healthy at
kids' wedding dance.

[vr-trakowski.livejournal.com]

Leukocytes!
Neutrophils!
Double numbers,
Fill fill fill!
Goooooo cells!

Body listen
Hear our plea
We all need
Immunity!
Goooooo cells! (I have no idea if immunity is in fact what he's trying for here, however.)

No more fever,
Make it clear!
We need more
White cells in here!
Goooooo cells!

[castalusoria.livejournal.com]

To the tune of AT-TI-CA:

LEU-KO-CYTES!
LEU-KO-CYTES!
LEU-KO-CYTES!

[karenjunker.livejournal.com]

I can't think up a cheer...but I wanted you to know we love you (and therefore we love who you love). Even though we're not close by you, we think of you all the time and care deeply about Zach getting healthier. We envision him in perfect health with all our might!

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

1. Does Zach have access to hypnotherapy? Proven stress-buster, excellent for the immune system, proven to be fab for breast cancer so why not others?

2. I don't do American-style cheers, but both Sesame Street comes to mind:

As the Count: [insert number here] MORE little white cells, ah-ha-ah-ha-haaaaaa!

[thunderpigeon.livejournal.com]

I see a few people have already used the rhyme I was going for, but for short and simple, how 'bout:

Leukocytes
Keep up the fight!
Neutrophils
Work your will!

[radiotelescope.livejournal.com]

stem cell gleaming in the night
marrow treat your children right
interferon comes to warn
interleukin winds the horn
down the vein and off to war
polymorphonuclear
turn the glass and sing amen
neutrophil and full again

Catchy? I don't know.