dr_pretentious: (Default)
[personal profile] dr_pretentious
We found Gareth just fine, eventually. He's at that age when he thinks it's hilarious to run away from us in crowded places, and Dan let his guard down in the kids' clothing section at TJ Maxx. (I was with the baby in another section entirely. I'd like to think I wouldn't have let down my guard, but three-year-olds make up for their total lack of judgment with a superabundance of wiliness.)

Dan didn't know what a Code Adam was, so he didn't know to ask the store employees to call one. Which turned out to be just as well, because TJ Maxx is not a participating establishment, so instead of locking down the store until the lost child was found, which should be standard practice everywhere, the cashier just stared at me blankly and said she didn't have the authority to close the doors. If I could just wait five more minutes, she said, the manager would wrap up what he was in the middle of and come to hear me out.

So it was my responsibility to stand at the front doors to make sure no one left with my kid, while I pleaded with the cashiers to at least send someone to watch the back doors, if she didn't have the authority to lock those down. Dan ran up and down the aisles, enlisting the aid of his fellow customers. Nobody on staff could be bothered to help us. It was the Christmas season, after all, and a big year for the discount chains, so they were busy with important economic activity.

To the manager's credit, he gave the cashiers what for, once Gareth was found, but it was clear that nobody there had been trained, drilled, or even advised about what to do in the event of a missing child.

Parents, you're on your own. You can hope to encounter good will and good intentions, but if you want any skills or knowledge brought to bear in case the worst happens, you'd better provide them yourself.

Date: 2010-12-12 08:19 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamesenge.livejournal.com
Scary. Glad you got him back--and maybe this will lead to a better response the next time a kid goes missing in that store.

Now my kids panic when I run off, so things go full circle eventually...

Date: 2010-12-13 12:46 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] spindlewand.livejournal.com
Oh my. I know that feeling. Several similar things happened to us - nothing identical, but really, if they are not on a leash they can be off in a flash. And of course that treatment of you was ridiculous and I am only glad it all worked out well. Probably a lot of the time it is a child hiding/running around but for the one in one hundred times it is not, the store ought to be prepared better than that.

I agree - we're on our own. I have been lucky in many respects with many situations but really, when it comes right down to it, the buck stops with mom and dad. The most sincere employee will feel terrible if something bad happens that they should have averted, but for them it is a bad day or a bad week, whereas for the parent, is a hellacious rest of their life. Their motivation cannot possibly equal ours.

(says the mother who found out the hard way that you can't even necessarily trust a hospital to feed a child in the ICU...)

Date: 2010-12-13 07:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] kistha.livejournal.com
Glad it all worked out for the best.

Date: 2010-12-13 05:46 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jasminewind.livejournal.com
He's at that unnerving age where he can run off but he can't necessarily find his way back or logic his way to help. We lost D in a number of (now) entertaining scenarios when he was that age. You both get better at watching and eventually he'll get better at figuring out how far is far enough to wander. Plus, I enrolled my kids in martial arts classes so they could kick up a fuss if necessary!

Date: 2010-12-13 06:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sabrinamari.livejournal.com
Good to know!

Date: 2010-12-13 09:57 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rednikki.livejournal.com
I read your post and it stuck in my mind. Then I saw this today:
http://www.thinkgeek.com/geek-kids/1-3-years/e6d0/?cpg=149H&link

In the absence of retail store staff competence, it could be useful!

Date: 2010-12-15 10:55 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-pretentious.livejournal.com
Just ordered it. Thank you! That's the best help short of a Jackie Chan character to follow my kids around. (And if you spot Jackie Chan offering his childcare services on eBay, do let me know.)

Date: 2010-12-15 03:28 am (UTC)
annathepiper: (Default)
From: [personal profile] annathepiper
Good lord, I'm not even a parent and I want to smack those store employees on your behalf. I'm glad you found your son okay though!
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