dr_pretentious: (Default)
[personal profile] dr_pretentious
The Bad Poetry Party was a spectacular success. Good food, good wine, good company, appalling verse--a perfect combination. We adorned [livejournal.com profile] vgnwtch's husband T with the Cheese Crown for his discovery and performance of a trove of truly abysmal poetry by a kid who wishes, rather desperately, to be Poe. Oh, the misplaced modifiers! I knew, when [livejournal.com profile] mischievouspie's wails of horror at the syntax turned to mock threats of vengeance, that T had found something extraordinary. [livejournal.com profile] aristeros gave a fine performance of a 19th century ode to a train wreck. [livejournal.com profile] newroticgirl dredged up her high school notebooks--brave, brave woman! From [livejournal.com profile] jeneralist, we had anagrammatic poetry galore. [livejournal.com profile] tracyandrook composed new odes just for the occasion, and [livejournal.com profile] jaime_sama was represented in absentia when her husband performed a poem she'd crafted from spam subject lines. One measure of true bad craftsmanship and the true craftsmanship of bad: can the poem make [livejournal.com profile] aspenwolf squeak involuntarily? [livejournal.com profile] tracyandrook declared that she could not wait to break out "The Eye of Argon" until the crowd had thinned and only the die-hards were left, so we spent a prose interlude with the worst work of short fiction in the entirety of Anglophone literature, and then came back for another round of Enjambments Man Was Not Meant to Know.

T and [livejournal.com profile] vgnwtch are well stocked now to make Bad Poetry Day an international phenomenon when they move across the pond--she was the second Queen of Cheese, and may still have the jalapeno cheddar crown. After all, if International Talk Like a Pirate Day can become a massive phenomenon, why not bad poetry, too?

International Bad Poetry Day, by the way, is really January 22nd, my actual birthday. Sometimes we have to settle for celebrating on Bad Poetry Day (observed), but we do aim for the real thing. It's kind of a race now: which will I manage to establish first--a goofy pseudoholiday, or a writing career? What if Bad Poetry Day turns out to be the whole of my literary legacy?

Sunday, Dan and I languished among the party dishes with our likewise tuckered out houseguests, [livejournal.com profile] twoeleven, [livejournal.com profile] radiotelescope, and [livejournal.com profile] gregoradon, who had crossed state lines to be here and were able to stay through most of a second day. Today, we seem to be recovered from the party, and mostly recovered from the dishes, but what on earth are we going to do with this refrigeratorful of cheese? Stilton with candied lemon peel, anyone?

Thanks to all of you who came out for the occasion. And those of you who couldn't be here--well, next year in South River. Have I mentioned recently how grateful I am to the universe for my good friend-karma? Not recently enough? I don't know how I got so lucky. You all make my life sweet.

Date: 2006-02-27 10:06 pm (UTC)
annathepiper: (Default)
From: [personal profile] annathepiper
Wow, your birthday is one day before mine. Most excellent!

Also, a Bad Poetry Party sounds like a fabulous idea for a gathering. Something like the Bad Movie Suckoffs we've been having at the Murk, only perhaps more literary, and with more actual cheese!

Date: 2006-02-28 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vgnwtch.livejournal.com
We had a brilliant time (again). The Cheese Crown is sitting on the table - I shall have to hand it over to you on Wednesday, and we'll get a brand new one for next January. T was thrilled, by the way. He was in a grumpy mood when we set out to the party; on the way home, he was chuckling and quoting half-remembered lines. Grapefruit Juice Is Angry!

Date: 2006-02-28 08:01 am (UTC)
ext_864: me with book (Default)
From: [identity profile] newroticgirl.livejournal.com
Dam straight it is!

*shaking the angry fist*

curse that Nick guy for having worse poetry than me!!!!!

Date: 2006-02-28 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vgnwtch.livejournal.com
If it's any comfort, it's because he is seriously mentally ill. You can compete against that sort of thing, but you can't hope to win.

Date: 2006-03-01 05:52 am (UTC)
ext_864: me with book (Default)
From: [identity profile] newroticgirl.livejournal.com
Hmmmm... maybe I'll have to combine genres: The Fish God Drinks Angry Grapefruit Juice?

Date: 2006-03-01 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-pretentious.livejournal.com
That sounds very promising. Though there is a very remote risk that you might get a good poem out of it.

Date: 2006-02-28 06:11 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sleepymaggie.livejournal.com
Another birthday that week, wow!

Any chance we could take a look at some of that poetry? Or maybe some links or names? I'd love the chance to chuckle at the kid who would be Poe.

Date: 2006-02-28 07:19 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vgnwtch.livejournal.com
By all accounts, he is on LJ and is prone to aggressive posts in the journals of people who've referenced his work, so if you have an email address you feel Ok about putting here, I'll email you the url privately.

Date: 2006-02-28 07:32 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sleepymaggie.livejournal.com
applesticker at gmail dot com

Date: 2006-02-28 06:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] vgnwtch.livejournal.com
You're on.

Date: 2006-02-28 08:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-pretentious.livejournal.com
There's an anthology called Very Bad Poetry that has the perennial gems. You can count on Ogden Nash and Edward Lear for deliberately bad poetry, and Gertrude Stein for bad poetry with delusions of grandeur. The gem I could not find is an art book with poems by an often-good poet with by the unlikely name of Mei-Mei Bersenbrugge--it's called Endocrinology, and it takes itself way, way more seriously than its merits allow.

Date: 2006-02-28 06:17 am (UTC)
From: (Anonymous)
The Queen of Qheese is a man! Marvelous!

Date: 2006-02-28 06:26 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tokeiwakamidesu.livejournal.com
I really am sad I missed it... before The Mono, I was hunting through my stuff to find the files from my poetry workshop last spring, but I did remember to burn them, apparently.

By the way, what's your e-mail address? I want to send you comments on Atlantis Cranks...

Date: 2006-02-28 08:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-pretentious.livejournal.com
Maybe next year. When does Chicago's spring semester start? If we lean early, can we catch you before your winter break ends?

I'm at avery at alum dot vassar dot edu.

Feel better.

Date: 2006-02-28 08:05 am (UTC)
ext_864: me with book (me)
From: [identity profile] newroticgirl.livejournal.com
next year... that crown will be mine... I've got to have something more awful than the Grapefruit OR the Sylvia Plath tribute... LOL

thank you again for the invite, I had SOOOO much fun. AND so much cheese!

Date: 2006-02-28 08:05 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dr-pretentious.livejournal.com
Oh, but that Grapefruit poem could well become a perennial favorite. You've got to bring that one back.

Face down upon my kitchen floor

Date: 2006-02-28 11:16 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tracyandrook.livejournal.com
As we meet we can make things with cheese sauce. Rarebits, benedicts, crucifers.
The queen of cheese does not even _eat_ cheese, so if he doesn't accept his cheese award, measures will need to be taken straight away.

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