Too Good Not to Share
Mar. 31st, 2006 02:47 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dr_pretentiousIt first occurred to me that I was looking at the April Fool's Day issue of Publishers Weekly online when I saw the headline, "Author Wins Atheist in eBay Auction." The author, a Christian writer who has published a how-to book about evangelism, says he hopes he is "helping Christians not be jerks, or helping Christians be normal."
Only, that turned out to be one of the legitimate stories. Shows what I know.
This is a short excerpt from my favorite of the April Fool's articles, one in which Zondervan announces its plans to market The Purpose Driven Life on other planets, now that the market on Earth is saturated:
This is not the first time that Zondervan has attempted an aggressive outreach into previously untapped markets. However, earlier efforts to get a copy of The Purpose-Driven Pet into the paws of every animal on Earth did not meet with unqualified success, since distribution proved to be a nightmare. "Let's face it, animals just weren't coming in from the wild to shop in CBA stores," said a company insider, who preferred to remain anonymous. "The best we could really hope for was that middle-aged women, our core consumers, were bringing the book home for their cats to read." Animal outreach efforts are on hiatus at the moment as the company pursues the intergalactic trade.
Kirkstra does not expect distribution to be such a barrier with the Martian publishing world, which will be the first to receive shipments of PDL. Zondervan has struck a deal with cash-strapped NASA, using capital from the lucrative Christian publishing business to fund further space exploration if NASA will subcontract for the routing and shipping of product. Financial details of the arrangement were not disclosed, but are rumored to be in the nine-figure range.
"The real challenge will be getting the books to the unchurched alien, since there won't be churches on these planets to do a '40 Days of Purpose' campaign," said Kirkstra. "But that is a small hiccup. Really, there's no reason for us not to reach for the stars."
Only, that turned out to be one of the legitimate stories. Shows what I know.
This is a short excerpt from my favorite of the April Fool's articles, one in which Zondervan announces its plans to market The Purpose Driven Life on other planets, now that the market on Earth is saturated:
This is not the first time that Zondervan has attempted an aggressive outreach into previously untapped markets. However, earlier efforts to get a copy of The Purpose-Driven Pet into the paws of every animal on Earth did not meet with unqualified success, since distribution proved to be a nightmare. "Let's face it, animals just weren't coming in from the wild to shop in CBA stores," said a company insider, who preferred to remain anonymous. "The best we could really hope for was that middle-aged women, our core consumers, were bringing the book home for their cats to read." Animal outreach efforts are on hiatus at the moment as the company pursues the intergalactic trade.
Kirkstra does not expect distribution to be such a barrier with the Martian publishing world, which will be the first to receive shipments of PDL. Zondervan has struck a deal with cash-strapped NASA, using capital from the lucrative Christian publishing business to fund further space exploration if NASA will subcontract for the routing and shipping of product. Financial details of the arrangement were not disclosed, but are rumored to be in the nine-figure range.
"The real challenge will be getting the books to the unchurched alien, since there won't be churches on these planets to do a '40 Days of Purpose' campaign," said Kirkstra. "But that is a small hiccup. Really, there's no reason for us not to reach for the stars."
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-06 01:55 pm (UTC)I'm told you do astrology. Is there anything about 7/1/2006 that indicates that it's a shitty day to get married?
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Date: 2006-04-06 08:04 pm (UTC)What the calendar gets me is this:
The Sun's in Cancer, which is a good sign for love and domesticity. Mercury's direct until July 4, 3:33pm EST. If you're planning on doing a lot of honeymoon travel, that could be problematic, but for the wedding date itself, Mercury's on your side. The Moon will be a waxing crescent--that's auspicious. The Moon's solidly in Virgo, which may crank up everybody's capacity to be nitpicky; on the other hand, Moon in Virgo is auspicious for making sure all the details actually work out. So think about the relevant people and decide how the cost/benefit analysis works out with their temperaments. The Moon goes void of course at 2:58am on the 2nd, and stays void until it goes into Libra at 1:06pm, you really wouldn't want to get married on Sunday the 2nd.
The Moon's in opposition to Uranus at 5:55am--our handy chart suggests distractions and unconventional acts or thoughts. It's a good time for cold feet, if you'd like to have them.
Venus will be quincunx to Jupiter at 10:19am. (Is that the right preposition for astrological idiom? Quincunx to? Quincunx with?
The Moon will quincunx itself at Neptune (Preposition problem? What preposition problem?) at 3:32 pm. At this point the chart urges us to "discriminate between apathy and relaxation." Do these people write fortune cookies for a living? I'm pretty sure that neither apathy nor relaxation accompany most people's wedding days.
The calendar's apparatus says the best times to get married are when the Moon is in Taurus, Leo, Cancer, Libra, and Pisces, but my thinking is that, as long as Mercury's direct and the Moon's not void of course, the important thing is to schedule so that your and your bridegroom can have as many of your friends and family around you as you want, and as much time off for your honeymoon as you want to wrest away from your jobs.
If you or the Dutchman already have doubts about getting married, the morning of July 1 might be a bit fraught. From your posts, though, it sounds clear that you two have something really good and solid.
Best wishes!