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Jun. 5th, 2006 12:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dr_pretentiousMy father called just after the sun rose to say the waiting was over. He was literally unable to tell me much else.
A few hours later, my cousin Danny called. Those of my cousins who were able to be at the hospital were worried about those of us who weren't, so they wanted to check in with me, and get my sister's cell phone number. Have I mentioned that I have the best cousins in the whole world?
"He died at sunrise," Danny said. "It sounds all corny, but that's what happened. And now it's a beautiful day in Rochester."
It's overcast here in Jersey. The Weather Channel informs me that, in Rochester, it will be sunny all day, with a high of 74 degrees. The things we think at times like this.
My grandfather lived to see his eighties. He died without pain, in the company of people who loved him. His wishes were honored, meticulously. Nobody is guaranteed an end that good.
I've been so lucky in my misfortune. My mate has been grandly solicitous. My friends are numerous and kind. My family is really good at pulling together. And no matter what, this day was going to come, sooner or later. So, no complaints. Just grief.
Thank you all for your kind wishes and offers of help. The dust has settled enough that I can begin to figure out what to ask for.
I'll need someone to catsit for us while Dan and I go up for the funeral. Because I'm already prevailing upon so many people for catsitting while I'm away at festival, the conference, and the family reunion...oh, that's going to be a rough 4th of July now, isn't it...anyway...I'm hoping to spread around the karmic debt so no one person or household is looking after Sonia for more than one week. Our cat is delightful, but Route 18 traffic is not a trivial thing to ask people to face.
I wouldn't turn down a casserole or two. Past experience with family emergencies tells me that the will to cook is the first thing I lose. Dan and I are omnivores, though I'm trying to avoid fish (mercury exposure, trying to start a family, etc.).
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kistha, I'd like to take you up on your offer of crash space for the Wednesday before Writer's Weekend. The energy I was going to spend on playing phone tag just went out the window. I need to simplify my personal universe a bit, and knowing where I'm going to sleep would make all the other ambiguities easier to live with.
Thank you all, dear ones.
A few hours later, my cousin Danny called. Those of my cousins who were able to be at the hospital were worried about those of us who weren't, so they wanted to check in with me, and get my sister's cell phone number. Have I mentioned that I have the best cousins in the whole world?
"He died at sunrise," Danny said. "It sounds all corny, but that's what happened. And now it's a beautiful day in Rochester."
It's overcast here in Jersey. The Weather Channel informs me that, in Rochester, it will be sunny all day, with a high of 74 degrees. The things we think at times like this.
My grandfather lived to see his eighties. He died without pain, in the company of people who loved him. His wishes were honored, meticulously. Nobody is guaranteed an end that good.
I've been so lucky in my misfortune. My mate has been grandly solicitous. My friends are numerous and kind. My family is really good at pulling together. And no matter what, this day was going to come, sooner or later. So, no complaints. Just grief.
Thank you all for your kind wishes and offers of help. The dust has settled enough that I can begin to figure out what to ask for.
I'll need someone to catsit for us while Dan and I go up for the funeral. Because I'm already prevailing upon so many people for catsitting while I'm away at festival, the conference, and the family reunion...oh, that's going to be a rough 4th of July now, isn't it...anyway...I'm hoping to spread around the karmic debt so no one person or household is looking after Sonia for more than one week. Our cat is delightful, but Route 18 traffic is not a trivial thing to ask people to face.
I wouldn't turn down a casserole or two. Past experience with family emergencies tells me that the will to cook is the first thing I lose. Dan and I are omnivores, though I'm trying to avoid fish (mercury exposure, trying to start a family, etc.).
kistha, I'd like to take you up on your offer of crash space for the Wednesday before Writer's Weekend. The energy I was going to spend on playing phone tag just went out the window. I need to simplify my personal universe a bit, and knowing where I'm going to sleep would make all the other ambiguities easier to live with.Thank you all, dear ones.
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Date: 2006-06-05 05:17 pm (UTC)I'm so very sorry.
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Date: 2006-06-05 05:18 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 05:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 05:29 pm (UTC)While I can't do catsitting or casserole duties any more (until you move here, and don't you think I've given up on my dream of importing all my beloved friends), I have a bottle of white wine in the kitchen, ready for tonight's blot. We'll remember you and yours this evening.
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Date: 2006-06-06 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 08:03 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 05:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 06:08 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 01:50 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 06:11 pm (UTC)I wish you peace.
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Date: 2006-06-05 06:26 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 06:28 pm (UTC)*hugs and love*
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Date: 2006-06-06 01:55 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 06:55 pm (UTC)I'm sorry to hear of your loss, but am glad that your grandfather's passing was so smooth.
I can't offer to catsit before FSG, since I suspect I'm going to be less than reliable. (And I hate to ask this, but which days am I catsitting *after* FSG? I'm going to need a reminder of dates, and instructions).
However, I'm undoubtedly going to be home either Thursday or Friday, and would love to have you and Dan over for some grilling for dinner (or lunch even). I don't know when the funeral will be, so I don't know whether that's at all useful for you, but please keep it in mind.
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Date: 2006-06-06 01:59 am (UTC)If you could cover catsitting June 22-25, and/or July 1-5, that would be Completely Awesome. If we don't get a chance to confer sooner, we can catch up at festival.
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Date: 2006-06-09 07:20 am (UTC)June 22-25 is now written down in my calendar! I'll be away July 1-5, so I won't be able to catsit then.
And again, {{{{{{hugs}}}}}}
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Date: 2006-06-05 06:55 pm (UTC)No problems on crash space.
Date: 2006-06-05 07:17 pm (UTC)It's always hard to lose someone, but it sounds like you have great support all around. Take care, and know we're all thinking of you.
Nobody is guaranteed an end that good.
I wish everybody was though.I'm glad he got a good ending. The family reunion may be hard, but I bet there will be a great deal of happy story telling through the tears.
Loves to you poppet.
Re: No problems on crash space.
Date: 2006-06-06 01:59 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 07:22 pm (UTC)I'd be more then happy to make you guys a meal. When would you like it? Would you prefer it now or after you return from the funeral. Let me know what is best for you guys.
Love and you're in my thoughts and prayers.
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Date: 2006-06-06 02:01 am (UTC)I hope things are looking up for you. We've been fretting.
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Date: 2006-06-06 01:01 pm (UTC)So, what kind of food would you and Dan like? Give me some ideas on what you guys like to eat and I'll hit the cookbooks. :-)
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Date: 2006-06-06 02:34 pm (UTC)I tend to cook low fat one-pot dishes with roughly as much protein as starch, heavy on the vegetables. It sounds gratuitously healthy, but hey, it leaves more room for chocolate.
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Date: 2006-06-06 02:52 pm (UTC)Have a safe trip and know your whole family are in my thought and prayers.
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Date: 2006-06-05 07:29 pm (UTC)J and I will definitely be able to do some cat-sitting. Just drop us an email or give us a call. I should reiterate that since I'm spending a lot of time just sitting and writing on my laptop currently, I can do that as easily at your place as at ours. And Rt. 18 doesn't scare me that much.
what garybart said...
Date: 2006-06-05 08:43 pm (UTC)Love,
J
Re: what garybart said...
Date: 2006-06-06 02:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 07:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 02:07 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 09:01 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-05 11:48 pm (UTC)hugs
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Date: 2006-06-06 04:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 04:05 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-06-06 11:34 am (UTC){{{{{{{{{{{{{hug}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
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Date: 2006-06-06 12:08 pm (UTC){{{{{{Sarah}}}}}}
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Date: 2006-06-29 01:33 am (UTC)--Dianne
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Date: 2006-06-29 02:33 am (UTC)We're still hoping to see you and the other usual suspects some weekend this summer. I don't have the brain to think about when right now, but I can hope for the return of my brain to occur sometime after the holiday.