Grail-O-Matic

[dr_pretentious]

Percival smacked his forehead. "Why didn't I think of it sooner?"

"What?" said Lancelot.

The nurses were by now quite accustomed to the constant presence of two knights of Camelot. The nurse with the thick Staten Island accent understood immediately what Percival was asking her to do.

"Well, duh!" she said. "What took us so long?"

It took some jerry-rigging, but in a few minutes they had the Grail set up to keep the Fisher King on a constant IV drip of holy water.

The nurse looked the arrangement over and nodded in approval. "It's kind of a Rube Goldberg device, but it'll get the stuff into his kidneys, all right."

Percival laughed. "Chretien de Troyes never saw that one coming."

Comments

[tracyandrook.livejournal.com]

Thank goodness this poor guy had a single room, because the light emanating from his hurt parts (which were many) would keep anybody awake. But it was nice. Sort of like napping in a sunbeam on a relaxing afternoon. Florence would have liked it.

We were wondering basically how to tell this to the treatment team: that we had changed Mr. M's medication program without an order. Was my butt going to be out on the street in a half second? I was nearing the end of Orientation. I was due to get my permanent assignment in another 3 weeks. Or sooner, depending on how this ended.
About five minutes into the infusion, the pink was returning to Mr. M's face. His extremities were warm. Incredible!

My preceptor Anne had actually changed the IV from lactated Ringer's to--to what?
"Whiskey," she said with a wink.
"What?"
"The water of life."
I pulled the curtains around to try to keep the bright light from the other patients. The light streamed out from below. I thought better of it and swung it back. If anything happened with Mr. M, we needed to know.

”We are going to be so out-of-here if we don’t tell somebody about this,” I worried, squinting.
“And who would believe you? Is this a TV show, or what? ‘Doctor, I think you’d better come here and see this’, is that what you wanted to say?” Anne put on her sparkly cat-eye shades.
“Well, yes, so?”
“So call them. I’m sure they’d be thrilled to hear your voice again.”
I had already called them for another patient this shift and I didn’t look forward to it.

Who were these guys again?
The look on the wife's face told me that she would probably bite the hand off of anybody in their way. Still.
I figured we should treat this like another blood transfusion, and stay on top of him for an hour or so.
Especially because this was more sunlight than any of us had had in a long time. We were all enjoying it. Was it my imagination, or was it starting to smell like cut grass in here? Much better than disinfectants. I noticed how pale everybody was, like white asparagus. I started to tear up a bit. This is like Laetrile. Like shark tongue soup or crystals. No, it’s not.
Everybody here is suffering. They didn’t bring a Grail for every patient.

I pulled out an incident report form.

[sabrinamari.livejournal.com]

I just saw this: brilliant!

Thank you.