Something Every Coven Leader (And Probably Every Pagan) Can Benefit From

[dr_pretentious]

Thanks to a link from lindalee and ingridsummers, I've spent the afternoon completely absorbed by Eran's online book, Trollspotting. Eran draws on Kenneth Haugk's Antagonists in the Church, which explains what to do when compulsively destructive people turn up in your congregation, and then adapts Haugk's basic insights and methods so that Pagans can apply them in our very different congregational structures and theological frameworks. Some of the terms he uses are particular to Wicca, but I think he's right that his work applies to most of the Pagan groups on the American scene. Great stuff.

If Braided Stream Coven had had access to this material in 1997, we could have spared ourselves a whole lot of woe. We survived our troll, but I can easily see why many groups don't survive that kind of disruption. The irony is, I had a copy of Antagonists in the Church sitting unread on my shelf the whole time I needed it, but I didn't make a priority of it because I could see that the useful bits would require a lot of rethinking for application in my context.

If I ever take up teaching the Craft again, Trollspotting will be on the reading list I give my students. I urge those of you who are training to be Pagan clergy right now to put some time into reading it. I wonder if I can interest my fellow members of Clover Coven in hosting a discussion of it for the local Groves in the Blue Star tradition, maybe sometime this fall or winter.

I've dropped Eran a comment at his website urging him to publish, through Lulu.com at the very least. Maybe if he gets enough comments to that effect, he might take the plunge. The whole Pagan community would benefit from having this text available in multiple formats.

Comments

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

I think it's great to have resources like this so that you're not constantly re-inventing the wheel. At the same time, we only learn so much from other people's mistakes, no matter how hard they're drummed into us, and often end up echoing them to some degree - but having an outline of what's going on and how to deal with it to refer to is great. Also, a great resource for people seeking to ensure that they don't become the troll.

I think our troll was an important part of Braided Stream's history. She taught us necessary lessons, and helped us forge a more honest, forthright, and loving connection. I only wish it could have happened without the accompanying pain to those of you she was most involved with; as someone without an interest in pursuing further elevation, and someone not immediately involved in furthering her ambitions, I was very much on the sidelines and out of the loop - my regret is that I was not able to see from my position any of what was happening. She was very effective at having you all use your protective colouring, and at appearing to be all things to all people. I thought her dreadfully insecure and having a hard time with compassion, but I had no idea of what lurked in the depths, waiting to strike.

[dr-pretentious.livejournal.com]

The weirdest thing about her is that she was on the brink of self-knowledge about her trolldom. I remember how she used to tell us, "If you really knew me through and through, you wouldn't want me around," in that mournful voice she got sometimes. And we thought she was just suffering from the particular variant of Catholic upbringing she'd had, with its emphasis on being a miserable sinner, etc. She was right about herself in those moments, though. Once she showed us the full extent of her cruelty, her selfishness, her manipulativeness, and her paranoia, we certainly didn't want her around.

One of the things I learned from that, that Eran's book doesn't cover, is to consider seriously the things people say about themselves when they're obviously at low points with their self-esteem. We're conditioned to comfort people uncritically in those moments, to offer arguments to counter their anxieties. Very occasionally, though, what comes out has a kernel of self-knowledge, once you peel away their self-loathing.

[vgnwtch.livejournal.com]

She was right about herself in those moments, though.

True. She was terribly broken, and we were not the place for her to be broken in or put back together.

One of the things I learned from that, that Eran's book doesn't cover, is to consider seriously the things people say about themselves when they're obviously at low points with their self-esteem. We're conditioned to comfort people uncritically in those moments, to offer arguments to counter their anxieties. Very occasionally, though, what comes out has a kernel of self-knowledge, once you peel away their self-loathing.

One of the things I've always admired about you is your ability to articulate, clearly and precisely. You just did it again.